#'alexa aren't YOU married

[furby-organist]

> "Hmm... if you start your divorce announcement with 'no one gets married expecting to divorce,' I probably don't have much sympathy for you! Haha! Stay well!"

[plutoasteroids]

PAC - How Will Your FS' Siblings Feel About You

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Especially because not everyone's FS has siblings so if you aren't drawn to a pile that could be why or there are just no messages for you in this reading.

THIS READING IS ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CHOICES MADE IN RELATION TO MY READINGS!

Pile 1 is the picture of Alexa Demie in sunglasses

Pile 2 is the Black and White picture

Pile 3 the picture with Fairy wings

Pile 4 The picture with her holding a knif3

PILE 1

Okay I do feel like your FS' siblings may be unsure of you at first because you might be someone completely different from their usual type for example you could be of a different race or background that they aren't used to so they may feel a bit sceptical about you especially at the very early stages of them getting to know you. Regardless of a tough first impression I feel like most of their siblings will eventually like you but there is one sibling that will hate your guts and the reasons could vary from person to person but overall it's just this vibe of them feeling like you aren't good enough for their sibling (your fs) and to be honest I don't think that specific sibling will ever like you there is a lot of deep-rooted jealousy and insecurity that you trigger in them without you knowing but anyways it won't affect your marriage/ relationship with your fs or the rest of their family. For the actually nice siblings of your fs, I feel like you will all have a lot of fun together going on adventures and trips and just enjoying life. At some point which will be pretty early on they might even start seeing you as their sibling and it will feel like things aren't complete if you aren't there too (sooo sweet). To be honest I feel you will have a specific one of your fs sibling that you will be super super close with just the connection is flowy and fun, it will feel like you guys are life long best friends. Don't worry about the one hater they genuinely won't matter, it will be annoying but it won't matter. Your fs family will be on your side and your fs side so they will immediately shut down the bs every time they act out of line.

PILE 2

Okayyyy so you guys are my controversial pile lmfaooo. So, upon first impression your fs' siblings will definitely find you confident, sexy alluring, badass and just glamorous. You take care of yourself and dress well and they can see that some more than others. I feel like you won't necessarily have a friendly relationship with your fs' siblings it will be more civil than anything especially because I feel like you won't see them much, so you won't get the chance to build a deeper relationship with them. I also feel like you have your fs wrapped around your little finger and they do notice this it's honestly obvious to everyone that your fs worships the actual ground you walk on but anywayssss. To the controversial bit I do feel like your fs will have a sibling that will have a bit of a crush on you but its nothing more than an innocent crush and it won't develop into anything more and I do feel like it will be something that will be joked about for a long time. My pile 2 I feel like you will be marrying into money. So overall this will be a very civil relationship with them no hate, no jealousy, you just get along with them well especially on the few ocassions that you do and will see them.

PILE 3

Okay, they will view you as pretty innocent. They may be the type to make overtly inappropriate jokes and you may not react to them, or you will seem confused making you innocent in their eyes. I feel like your fs' siblings are more on the loud, fun, obnoxious side and you aren't like that so to them they will view you as quite shy and reserved because you aren't acting as loud and carefree as they are. I feel like you are the type to use logic and be more observant in situations involving people which will extend to them feeling like you are quite cold towards them which isn't the caseagain because oyu are more of an observer than someone who will engage inw hatever they are doing. They may not necessarily like you nor will they ahte you because you will still be quite polite it's just that you won't engage in their version of fun which may make them see you as stuck up and a bit boring. Overall, the relationship here feels a bit rough round the edges but it will get better with time as you all learn each other they will understand that it's just how you are and there is no bad blood between all of you.

PILE 4

This pile is not afraid to get down and dirty. You are outspoken, confident and the no bullshit type. You may like things direct and straight to the point which might honestly catch people off guard and in this case your fs' siblings. I feel like they may have grown up in a setting where you have to always be polite or pick your words carefully, but you aren't like that which might come as a shock and will take a lot of getting used to on their end. I feel like there is equal learning, you learning to be more sensitive because not everyone takes being overly direct well ad them learning that you mean well but you are just very open and outspoken. I feel like overall though they will like you and you will get along quite well with them it will just take some getting used to each other. I wouldn't say you will be the best of friends, but you will certainly get along well with each other, and you will make good memories together. They will learn to let loose, and you will have wild, childlike fun...eventually.

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.13

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues and things change

This was written after I had two vodka crans and a few cigarettes…enjoy!

next chapter

"Did you have fun?" You walk over to Lila who is sat in Joel's arms.

"Yes, I caught a fishy today!" She exclaims, reaching down for you and you take her into your arms.

"She did a good job today" Joel laughs as he crosses his arms. His hair had grayed over the years no longer salt and pepper. He wore a Sherpa jacket and had his beard full grown.

"Ok baby, go get your bath things ready, you can shower in mommy's bathroom." She squeals in delight as you place her on the floor, heading up to your room.

"I hope she wasn't too much of a handful, can I get you something to drink?" You round the corner of the couch making way to the kitchen.

"Water would be nice, and no she was pretty good." You grab two waters from the refrigerator and hand him one as you sit on the arm of the sofa.

"So, your party's coming up in a few days, you excited?" Joel was turning 50 and for once he'd accepted a party he thrown for him. He wasn't a social guy but with his brother and the rest of the family's insistence he gave in.

"I ain't gon lie, not really" He takes a sip of the water and awkwardly smiles.

"Not keen on getting old or what?" You smirk and tilt your head and he just laughs at you.

"Not that part, the social part. You know I'm not a party kinda guy."

"Oh I think we all know you aren't a party kind of guy, but it's 50 Joel, only happens once."

"Yeah we'll, enough about me, how's Abigail?" You roll your eyes at his refusal to drop the formality.

"It's Abby and she's good." You can tell he wants to say something but he won't get on with it. "Joel just come on out with it"

"I wanted you to invite her, Abby."

"Really?"

"Yeah, y'all been together for a while, it's time she met Lila's family.

"I don't know how Ellie would feel about that, you know how she is."

"Doesn't matter how she feels, just invite her. Ellie's gotta learn to deal with it"

-

Your hands shook slightly, as you applied a coat of mascara onto your eyelashes. You placed the tube into your makeup bag and reached for your compact before powdering your face and making your way out of the bathroom. Sat on the hanger inside your wardrobe was the emerald green satin dress you and Dina had spent 3 hours searching for. You quickly slipped it on and shoved your feet inside a pair of spaghetti strapped heels, rolling your eyes at the loud and obnoxious music that was booming throughout the house.

"Lila, turn that off. I don't wanna hear that shit again" you yell. You make your way down to the living room where the 5 year old had the most annoying songs playing.

"Why, it's funny?" She quips with a smile, knowing it'll piss you off even more. You shake your head at her and roll your eyes.

"Alexa, turn off the music" you say with your arms crossed as you stare at your daughter. Challenging her to even dare try anything. She smirks at you, and you know you're in for a long day.

"Alexa, turn the music back on" she says and you shake your head at her stubbornness. You make your way over to her and she's already running up the staircase and slamming her room door shut.

"You need to put your shoes on and be ready in 5 minutes or else I'm calling Shay to come watch you" Immediately she's running down the staircase with her shoes in hand and readying herself. You knew the threat of leaving her with her babysitter would get her to comply.

"You're such a handful sometimes, I want you on your best behaviour tonight or else" you warn her as you look in the mirror, placing your earrings on.

"I'm not a handful" she groans and comes over to you with a hair tie and a brush. You sit her down and brush her coiled curls into a ponytail, while she rambles on about something that happened at school. You smile at her silly stories, she could be a handful but you loved her more than she knew.

-

"Mommy! Abby's here" Lila calls out to you and you rush out of the kitchen, phone in hand and purse tucked under your arms. You make your way to the front door where Lila is stood holding her grandpas gifts. Abby is stood leaning against the wall patiently waiting for you. You walk over to your girlfriend, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Ewww, gross" Lila groans as she makes her way to the car. You both pull apart and laugh at her judgement. Abby smiles down at you and you do the same to her.

"I think she's grossed out by us" you say as you lock the front door. Abby simply laughs and walks you towards her car, she places Lila into her booster seat and then proceeds to open the passenger door for you. Ever the gentlewoman.

-

"Did you buy your grandpa a gift?" Abby asks, as she looks in the mirror to catch a glimpse at Lila.

"Mhm" she mumbles as she lifts up the gift bags and shakes them. You smile at her and shake your head.

"You bought it or mommy bought it?" You question and she huffs in annoyance causing you and Abby to smile.

"I put in some of my money from the swear jar, and you swore again today so you need to pay up" she says and Abby turns to you, a face of fake disappointment.

"Did you swear in-front of Lila again mommy?" She tuts and shakes her head as if she were disappointed in you. Causing Lila to quietly laugh. You roll your eyes, glad the two of them could get along.

-

The venue was held at an outdoor garden, fairy lights gracing the venue, a bar setup with special cocktails, the main table and a gift table, where you instructed Lila to go and place her grandpa's gifts. Joel would turn 50 today and you were tingling with nervousness as this would be the third time Abby would meet him and the first time she'd meet the rest of Ellie's family. At first you didn't want Abby coming with you as you didn't want to take attention away from the event but Joel had insisted you bring her.

"I can tell that you're nervous, you need to unwind, relax, take a deep breath" Abby says as she plucks two flutes of champagne from a servers tray and hands you one. You accept the drink, take a sip and nod.

"I know, I just need this to go well, I don't want to ruin his day. 50's a big deal and he deserves a peaceful party"

"You won't ruin anything baby, just breathe" She smiles and you do the same. Just as you're about to head to the table, Lila comes sprinting towards you.

Her hands are reaching out to you and you roll your eyes.

"Mommy carry me" she holds her arms up to you and you hand Abby your purse and pick the kid up.

"Fine, but you have to carry me next" you joke.

"I can't carry you, you're too tall"

-

Guests piled in and soon enough the table was filled with friends and family members. Joel had taken it upon himself to introduce Abby to the family and they were all quite welcoming. Joel's brother Tommy and his wife had arrived, playing with Lila and keeping her entertained. Yet there was no sign of Ellie. Lila was sat in between you and Abby, whining and moaning about the food. Your patience was wearing thin when finally she had fallen asleep in your arms, distracting you from being able to eat. Abby took it upon herself to sit the child on her lap so you could eat and have a few drinks without the distraction. Soon enough you were feeling way more relaxed and found yourself enjoying the party.

Around the time that the first course had been served is when Ellie had finally showed up. Her auburn hair half tied into a bun, while the rest laid against her shoulders. She wore a black dress shirt and a pair of black trousers to match. Her eyes met yours and then landed on Abby's, you assume Joel hadn't told her about the guest as she looked quite surprised.

Ellie made her way over to where you were seated and stroked Lila's hair, causing the now half-asleep child to squint up and spot her mother.

"Hi momma" she said sleepily, still in Abby's arms as she slowly drifted back to sleep. Ellie smiles and greets her with a peck and a small "Hi honey" She shakes Abby's free hand firmly and you give her a half-assed wave, before turning your attention back to your food. You felt Abby's hand land on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. You knew it was her way of reassuring you everything was okay. You were still guilty about the kiss with Ellie but Abby had done everything to reassure you she trusted you.

-

"She can sit with me now" Ellie whispers to Abby midway through the dinner, as Lila had been half asleep for over an hour now. Most likely tired out from all the playing she had done in the afternoon. Abby looks down at Lila and asks if she'd like to sit with her mom to which she whines and insists on sleeping where she was. You knew Lila had nothing against Ellie and if she weren't half asleep she'd happily sit with her, but children were just fussy like that when their sleep was interrupted. Unfortunately you knew Ellie too well, her anger issues wouldn't allow her to see past logic and any minute now she'd take this personally against Abby.

"She's probably just tired" Abby tries to ease the awkwardness by giving the excuse, however the damage has already been done and Ellie is pissed.

Everyone on the table chews their food and downs their drinks in silence, as the awkwardness of the interaction becomes too hard to watch. Tommy and Maria share knowing glances and Joel visibly tenses up. You take a sip of your cocktail praying the interaction was over when you hear Ellie's voice once again.

"Just hand her over to me." She stares Abby down and you swallow your drink, fearful of what was to come.

"She's clearly exhausted, what's the harm in letting her sleep here, I don't see the problem." Abby mutters as she looks from you to Ellie.

"Y/n?" Ellie calls out to you, her tone icy.

"What?" You question, looking her dead in the eye.

"You just going to sit there and watch or?"

"You're making a scene, can you stop" you say lowly, though no difference in your volume could take the the entire tables focus off the three of you, this was exactly what you didn't want to happen tonight. You couldn't believe this was the same Ellie who got high with you in a school parking lot and fed you vending machine candy no less than a week ago.

"I'm making a scene? I don't even know why you brought this bitch here" Abby's eyes raise to make eye contact with Ellie and you immediately get up from your seat having had enough. Ellie wastes no time before she's trailing behind you.

"What's bitch?" Lila questions sleepily , having been awoken from the bickering and Joel grumbles. Not only at the corruption of his granddaughter but at  the blatant display of childishness being put on show.

"It's nothing, don't repeat it" Tommy says looking at Lila with serious eyes.

-

Just as you make your way away from the table, Ellie follows you deeper into the garden. You turn to face her and immediately roll your eyes.

"Why can't you just be civil, this was meant to be Joel's night and you ruined it" you exclaim, pointing your finger at her.

"Why did you bring her here Y/n, was it to spite me?" She questions ignoring what you had just said.

"You're seriously worried about her, it's been 2 years, we're over get over yourself." She scoffs at you and begins to pace.

"I can't believe you, of all the people it had to be her, couldn't you find someone else, honestly?"

"Ellie let me remind you that you're the one who cheated on me, you're the reason our marriage ended. Abby was there for me,  so you don't get to dictate or pass judgment over who I can or cannot see."

"Baby I told you that I'm getting you back, why can't you just let me in?" You roll your eyes at her weak attempt when she takes your hand in hers.

"Let go of her" Abby calls from behind her and you knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Fuck off would you, this has nothing to do with you" Ellie turns to her, getting all up in her space trying to intimidate her.

"It does Ellie, I'd like to do this the easy way. You stop trying to seduce my girl and I show you respect you."

"Your girl? She's my fucking wife"

"Ellie that's enough, just stop." You try to get in between them but Ellie persists on getting in Abby's face.

"Ex-wife, for a reason,  you recall cheating on her don't you? Because I'm sure the rest of us remember you doing that." Abby's words are enough for Ellie to swing a harsh punch against her jaw.

Immediately the two of them are throwing punches left right and centre and your mind blanks for a second. You try coming in between them but there is no use. Abby's arms are on Ellie's shoulders as she attempts to push her to the ground, while Ellie's are on Abby's waist as she shoves her repeatedly.

"Abby stop it" you try pulling her away from Ellie but she's too engrossed in the fight to hear you. Not to mention the fact that she's way out of your strength leagues.

"You fucking kissed her, who do you think you are?" Abby lands a blow on Ellie's cheek.

"She's going to leave you for me, watch and see" Ellie forces through groans, landing a punch on Abby's face.

Some staff of the restaurant notice the fight and immediately come in between the women to stop it. They must've been louder than you'd expected as Joel, Tommy and a few others from the table had heard the commotion and came running. Once you'd seen that they had both stopped fighting you headed off to get your daughter and leave. You didn't want to speak to either of them.

-

Much to Joel's dismay you decided to turn in for the night, Lila was tired and quite frankly so were you. Abby offered to drive the three of you home, after profusely apologising about what had taken place tonight. You rejected her offer and decided to take an Uber instead, you weren't dealing with her or Ellie at the moment. As you grabbed your things to leave, you spotJoel yelling at Ellie in the corner, as she ices her knuckles with a small glass filled with ice cubes. Her face was already bruising and her lip was busted. You were glad Lila was still asleep, not wanting her to see any of this.

"Baby?" You feel Abby's fingers tap your shoulder as you're stood outside the venue holding Lila, your Uber was arriving any minute now.

"I don't feel like talking right now, go home Abs"

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup @bratydoll @wakasaaa a @catostrophiclesbian @dinas-a-bird @lazyunknownwerewolf @h3sitant-alien @ceo-of-ellie-simps @mechetegirl109 @kashoot-me269 @lonelyfooryouonly @ellieswifee @doodlebob-mp3

[jonathanbyersphd]

Fun ask to offset the annoying ask: Why is Jancy so amazing (in your opinion)?

Oh Bless!

Reasons I love Jancy, a non-exhaustive list:

Chemistry (off the charts insane, no one is doing it like them I said what I said)

When the communication is good, it's good like they know exactly what the other is thinking (I mean even when it's bad they know but I digress)

Everything isn't magically better because they're together they both still have individual problems that can sometimes bleed into their relationship (also external problems like the end of the world)

Above point being made, despite their problems they're still very much in love with each other (see running into each others arms at the end of s4)

Sleeping in each other's beds and sneaking out the window

WILLINGLY SHARED A BED AND SUBVERTED THE TROPE

In the same vein: THERE WERE TWO BEDS BUT THEY FUCKED ANYWAY

I love how much they care about each other's sibling like in s3 Nancy calls about Will and in s4 Jonathan is protects Mike during the shoot out / for the rest of the funky little road trip

Their reasons for loving each other aren't shallow like they each list core elements of the other's character: ambition, compassion, etc. There aren't any lofty expectations or "I love them because they do X for me" it's just all the things they're noticed and admire about each other. (unlike some people 👀)

Anyways, they have similar life goals you know like they know what they don't want their lives to look like (the full "screw that" scene in s1 is a beautiful piece of modern cinema)

She has his poster (and mixtapes) in her room and he has her pictures all over his room (gonna throw up I love them so much)

Flirty so fucking flirty their flirting cannot be contained

They aren't afraid to call each other on their shit

They will absolutely go along with each others hijinks (like s3 Jonathan might have hesitated but he drove them to Mrs. Driscolls' and I FULLY believe if he had been in Hawkins he would've been getaway driver an Pennhurst)

BATTLE COUPLE BATTLE COUPLE BATTLE COUPLE

"Free my man he did all of it but I don't care" gf & "free my girl she did all of that + I helped her" bf

Golden retriever boyfriend & black cat girlfriend (fight me on this but canonically she yells at him about the pep talks)

"Most gorgeous big brown eyes you've ever seen + staring into your soul"

She wants to be a journalist and he wants to be a photographer???? hello???? compatible careers?????

MATCHING FUCKING SCARS (HOW DID I GET THIS FAR DOWN THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING THAT)

Jonathan would rather be miserable than watch Nancy throw her dreams away (like go off King but also get some therapy)

Have I mentioned that they're hot? Like have y'all scene them in the cemetery scene they're serving???

... What if she just doesn't let him go? *muffled sobbing*

I think they have broken the most laws out of anyone one in the show which isn't amazing per se but it is very:

BONNIE AND CYLDE VARIANT/ PARTNERS IN CRIME/ ALEXA PLAY I FOUGHT THE LAW BY THE CLASH.

peace by taylor swift coded

they got married in 3x08 fight me

THEY GAVE US MATCHMAKER MURRAY NEVER FORGET THAT

I feel like they can be themselves around each other you know? like it gets back into the expectations thing they're very natural around each other. Jonathan isn't awkwardly stumbling his way through conversation. Nancy isn't buying tops she thinks he might like. They love each other for their authentic selves (I'm gonna go cry again)

[justafriend-ql]

times never let me go said: happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈 (part 3)

final installment by popular request 3 people and my will to procrastinate (see part 1 and part 2)

narrow hallways - our community's biggest and most underappreciated ally

2. nuengdiao ordering palm to be his friend right after insulting him this is the bitchy emo twink representation we deserve

3. palm's brain fully shutting down when nueng brings his fingers to his neck

4. (watching your father cut a man's finger off in your living room) yes, the horrors are indescribable, but you've got to serve

5. have you ever been cockblocked by a roti sai mai seller

6. the scene going a full 10 shades darker when nueng agrees to dance with ben we have entered the twilight zone

7. nueng looking palm up and down not once, not twice, but three times

8. photos taken seconds before disaster

9. nueng vowing to strike fear into the hearts of homophobes everywhere

10. mam's gaydar going off like crazy

11. alexa play 'you're sexy, i'm sexy' by eric nam

12. friendly reminder that at this point palm has seen nueng have several emotional breakdowns, willingly poison himself with alcohol, throw up off the side of a boat, and call palm his running dog like palm get upppp

13. you heard it here first folks #bebravebeyou

14. mam asking about how palm feels and him admitting that it felt good to kiss nueng I LOVE THIS SONG

15. thank you for your service pond

16. the face ben pulls when chopper says he's never been ben's type (he will ask chopper out in approx. 2 minutes)

17. mam accepting nueng as her son-in-law 🥺

18. "you can do it as much as you want" sir this is a public retail store have some decorum

19. palm's face when nueng takes off his shirt so he can join him in the tub LMAO in the midst of his grief there was suddenly powerful lust

20. spiderman pointing meme (gay cousin edition)

21. stream 'smile please' by the cast of my school president for clear skin

22. get fucking wrecked ben men aren't shit

23. kiss. his. little. cheekie!!

24. you are so stupid we are about to fuck in my office

25. who's going to tell him

26. chopper: "i think nueng will need a lot of energy for palm" ben's reaction to that information:

27. people died

28. historians will say they were very good friends

29. established gays coaching the baby gay <3

30. "you are two men dating each other. that's already hard enough. your love is impossible in this lifetime. you always have to hide your relationship. it's impossible for you to get married and start a family. you need to be reborn. things may be better at that time." and in palm and nueng's present lifetime it's the same DO YOU HEAR WHAT JOJO IS SAYING

🇹🇭 MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW 🇹🇭

[shit-talk-turner]

Does anyone else think Pauline’s sudden impetus to do anything, aka become fake Alexa fashionista, has to do with her realizing the writing is on the wall for her and Alex?// I have absolutely zero idea but l have been married to my soulmate for 20+yrs and know what real love looks like, and this isn't it. Men who think they have met the love of their life generally want to put a ring on it. Or at the very least live together (which would mean putting a ring on it for Pauline) and spend significant time together sharing their life. They don't look kindly on their partner wanting to spend time with other men either - if they are ok with it -they aren't that into you. The Paris stuff seems desperate. I think Alex is depressed and she has been trying her best to get his attention but nothing is working, so she is now trying to show she is an independent woman, maybe in the mistaken belief that will make him more interested. I think he is letting the relationship wither on the vine, so to speak.

^

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

goddamnit (any or all 3, as strikes your fancy)

eheheheheh

So Established Relationship Dungeon Crawl from Hell is the one that had me reading the Dead in Thay dungeon book and chuckling evilly to myself.

Essentially, after Xenk and Ed have been together for about five years and are now married, Xenk gets the news: they have it. A way into Szass Tam's Doomvault. If they can get in and destroy Tam's phylactory, they will finally kill him. This is what Xenk's work has been building towards for a century.

It's also basically a suicide mission.

Ed is not about to lose another spouse especially not to self-sacrificing heroism, but it would also be unfair of him to ask Xenk to give up the thing he's been pushing towards for a literal century, so he says fine I'M GOING WITH YOU and I'm dragging your MORONIC ASS out of there ALIVE.

Which is easier said than done.

They're very aware the whole time that they're probably not gonna make it out of this alive, and that they're giving up their lives to free Thay and everyone else from Tam's machinations, but dammit if they aren't gonna try.

spoiler alert it's a happy ending but I'm gonna make y'all pay for it every step of the way

Meanwhile "Alexa, Play I Won't Say I'm in Love" is a comedy of stupidity of the highest order in which Ed tries to sleep with Xenk, Xenk's like listen I want to but I can't, Ed takes that as a challenge, proceeds to woo Xenk with disastrous results (he gets him, among other things, hair oil that Xenk is allergic to), Xenk falls for the idiot anyway, and they proceed to have sex a lot while insisting this is totally casual and doesn't involve feelings in any way whatsoever.

They're both horrible liars.

(Basically Xenk's like listen I can't be with you because Tam will 100% hurt anyone I love and use them against me, it's happened before, and Ed's like well what if we just act like total casual fuckbuddies who can't stand each other and Xenk's like why would I have sex with someone if I can't stand them and Ed's like oh boy. they then do a horrible job of pretending they're not stupidly in love and just having hatesex this is toooooootally hatesex, guys, we haaaaate each other.)

The Incubus!Ed fic is... it's. it's porn. I don't know what to tell you. it's just an excuse for monsterfucking porn. These are NOT the incubi of actual D&D lore who suck out your souls, I am playing fast and loose because it's my fic and I do what I want, Ed needs orgasms to survive so Xenk volunteers to jerk off in front of him, they both then have private breakdowns over it and fuck each other's brains out when they meet again.

[elibabayblog]

Dating Ryan Includes

PDA

Him stealing his set clothes

Red Carpets

BARBIE AND KEN

Sex, rough, hard sex

Hall pass (If you read my Scott Foley Dirty Imagine you will understand)

Him actually being a father to his son

Carter crying when he leaves

Flowers being sent from halfway across the world

Being fat (or skinny)

Coming out to him

Laughing when he falls

Straddling his lap

Face times all day

"Where is my child?" "Do you mean OUR child?" "Nope, my child."

Him missing his sons birth because he was filming

Him walking in with flowers , gifts and a large sushi platter for you

"Marry me?" "I did, two years ago."

Kisses

"Are you sure you accept me for all my flaws?" "Well, you can do without the snoring."

In his eyes you have no flaws

You are his princess

He is your handsome prince

"We already have four kids." "One more won't hurt." "If you want to have sex just ask." "Can we have sex?" "Meet me upstairs in 15 minutes."

"I'm falling in love with you and I'm terrified."

"Can we get a dog?" "NO!" proceeds to adopt 3 dogs

No more kids!" proceeds to have three more

"Alexa play ____"

"Take my card." proceeds to spend a lot of money

"I'm not leaving without you! So, pack a bag!"

"I'm ready to go public." post cute Instagram photo of him sleeping

"Does this match?"

"Help me get dressed."

"I don't know what to wear!"

"I'm going get this new dress I saw." "Take my card and buy it."

"That girl won't leave me alone." proceeds to kiss, and mark Ryan.

"If you call me by my full name, I'm in trouble aren't I?" "Yep."

[gretagerwigsmuse]

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers 🖤

(And if you don’t want to I will HAPPILY tell you my favs of yours!)

thanks alexa! and @notroosterbradshaw and @jupitercomet for also sending me this ask! there's a mix of tgm and the society fics here so i hope that's still fun for you??

okay so one of my absolute favorite things i've ever written are chapters 6, 7, 10, and 15 of i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything [but i know i miss you] because i absolutely loved getting inside harry's head and having him grow as a character into an even better character? and he holds such a special place in my heart for that? a lot of the writing was just really personal and honest and he is my original this is me trying boy (sorry bradley!). i also wrote this fic when i was in such a different headspace and it helped me get through so much

and even when we're wrong in every way, we come out the other side okay started out as a fun little fic and totally spiraled into so much craziness and fun and i just love them as a couple so much and every time i get an ask or a reblog or comment on this fic, i smile so big because the fact that people are still reading it makes me so happy! the voting record and oil comments still make me laugh

plus i know whatever happens to me, i know it's for the better from you'll find the real thing instead aka the harry and cassandra get an abortion fic. like it seems so trite to write a fic about abortion as a way to cope when roe v wade was overturned last june? but i just wanted to show that abortion isn't this big scary thing? (also it's still a hate crime that waiting room was taken off spotify just because phoebe bridgers thinks it's 'cringe')

and speaking of which....waiting room also has such a special place in my heart because it's still so early in their relationship and they're not quite sure where things land with each other? so to see her not even know if he would want her to come inside and take care of him, to them sleeping over each other's places every night when they both aren't traveling warms my heart so much? and then the lovely little reveal that bradley plans three days in advance whenever he cooks for her? and that he folds her dress instead of letting it pool on the floor??? girl i'd almost slip and tell him i loved him too!

and finally....since i know this is your favorite alexa, skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight to round out the list! this was just.....this was so ridiculous and fun to write, i always like the make their smutty fics kind of like...silly in a way??? like they're just so extra and obsessed with each other? also in a rough first draft, they were literally getting married that weekend or something, but i made it more vague to fit in with another fic i'm going to write when they're engaged

[piratewithvigor]

Ranking The Home Alone Movies, But My Explanations Are Overly Detailed

#6- Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House (2002)

A POX ON HE WHO UNLEASHED THIS CURSED BEAST UPON OUR LANDS

HOW DARE ANYONE PLAY FOLLY THAT THIS LITTLE NITWIT IS OUR BELOVED KEVIN? Who could have thought this was a good idea? They stole Kevin, they divorced his parents, they divorced Harry and Marv and gave Marv a wife who could flunk recess. And not in the "haha idiot" way but in the way that you just know she grew up to drink bleach instead of getting a vaccine. The plot is ridiculous, the Kevin is a brat, the traps have no creativity, there's fewer than 4 minutes of actual trap goodness, and KEVIN ISN'T EVEN HOME ALONE. There's house staff out the wazoo! This Kevin has a house chock-full of the most insane gadgets that would put an Alexa to shame and the best he can come up with is a dumbwaiter crush? A pot to the head? A fallen bookshelf? This is supposedly the same Kevin and Marv from 1 and 2, but Marv gets tricked by fake feet under the bed? Plus 2 siblings just got completely written out. Where's Jeff? Where's Linnie? They could have made this a silly little Disney straight-to-video romp, but instead they had to slap the Home Alone name on it because they knew no one in their right minds would ever sit and watch more than half of this piece of shit otherwise. This is no beloved holiday classic. This is the story of a spoiled brat who just is straight-up cruel to the poor butler. No imagination, no joy. He's living with his Dad who is historically the far worse parent just because Dad's got a sugar mama. Horrifyingly bad.

#5- Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)

First off, points are already gone because I hate the name of the kid. I'm sorry to all Finns out there, but that's how it goes for me.

But on legit notes, it also has to be noted that Finn also isn't actually home alone. His sister is in the basement. Trapped and unable to help him, but still just in the basement. Speaking of her, whoever wrote this dialogue has such glaring "only child" syndrome, it's pathetic. Also, these kids are so bratty and spoiled, they make me sick. Finn's "friend who teaches the meaning of Christmas" is just this other child who has no personality other than snow because he lives in Maine

AND WHY THE FUCK DO THEY LIVE IN MAINE? I don't care if a Home Alone is set somewhere other than Chicago. Spices things up. But the kid has to live in Chicago. They just sent them to Maine so the kids have reason to be bitchy to their parents who are just trying their best, even if their best is pretty shit.

Now the robbers. This Home Alone did something kind of different. Every other band of robbers have connections to each other. Married couples, partners in crime, what have you. But this one has them being complete strangers, which is good for offering conflict besides "one is smart and one is stupid". They even got Malcolm McDowell's creepy ass to play one of them. And he plays creepy really well.

Creepy is a theme no other Home Alone uses and it gives a good explanation for some of the stupid choices these robbers make. When you think shit's haunted, you make worse decisions. Especially regarding the traps

And there really aren't many traps. But the ones that are there are in fact pretty creative. Pool ball slingshot to the ass and snowblower shooting wooden balls are both excellent uses of the environment. But so many of them depend entirely on the robbers standing still and not moving. Who doesn't at least put up their arms to protect their face from a lot of projectiles? (It was at least a funny shot on the garage door, I'll give them that) But why the fuck is Jessica not moving from the incredibly stationary snow ball throwing device? Like, by hand, sure, get pelted. But with a machine that aims at one place only? Gimme a fuckin break.

The brightest spot of this movie is the poor dude who's playing video games all the time. Without him, Finn would have no creative potential. The scene where he tried to call the Mom was something no other Home Alone can offer and they'll never be able to duplicate.

#4- Home Sweet Home Alone (2021)

Yeah all the film bros hated on this one endlessly when it came out a year ago but it deserves this spot and I'll tell you why. This Home Alone twists the script. These robbers aren't evil. They're genuinely down on their luck and trying to get back something that was stolen from them. They're not greedy; they're trying everything they can to save their house. Max is a bit of a prick, but he's not really spoiled either. He's just overwhelmed by the stress of moving to a new country and having to share his living space with all his cousins and his parents are far too stressed to pay attention to him at all. I dare anyone to be that age and not be a bit of a prick in those circumstances.

This is the first Home Alone in over 20 years that has that beautiful "every detail matters" and minimal plot hole feeling that makes this series special. Why would the cops not come when Max calls? Because the cop who was just there is Buzz and he gets prank called by Kevin every single year. Why do the robbers assume Max isn't actually home alone? Cause the Alexa was set to German as a prank and they see him with the old lady at church.

That's a detail I seriously love. They're concerned parents who take Max in when they find out he was legit left home alone. Max thought he was in danger of being kidnapped. He wouldn't have set all the traps if he knew the truth. Everything was a misunderstanding and was well-written so that it would still work in the 2020s.

What's more is these robbers aren't stupid, they're just genuinely baffled by everything that's happening because there's no logical reason to expect any of it. They're desperate and frazzled and being shot by modified nerf darts. This was a kid who knew and used his environment to his advantage. Kids don't have a ton of legit toys that aren't just electronics, especially if he just moved, so he planned out every step, every move they'd make. He actually made a plan like the brilliant kids of yore, Alex and OG Kevin. Was this a perfect Home Alone? No, but by God, it's about as close as they could possibly get in the 21st century

#3- Home Alone 3 (1997)

Fuck everyone who doesn't think this is an absolutely brilliant way to follow up OG Kevin. I can understand how in 97, people had the highest hopes for this movie and were let down, but it needs to be watched on its own merits.

First off, Alex is a delightful child. He's not a brat. He's not stupid. He's not spoiled. He's sick and he's frustrated. Every moment where he's a little bratty is because people are blaming him for something that could have been avoided if they'd just believed him. Also, he's brilliant. They establish that he builds machines and has a knowledge of mechanics and science in order to build some of the most technically masterful traps.

Traps that are used on a perfect follow-up to Harry and Marv. How can you follow up two smart-but-foolish robbers? With four who are professional, internationally wanted criminals (I'd like to mention Beaupre is lowkey daddy). These robbers aren't stupid. They make sound, logical decisions. Except they're up against a kid who lives in far too big a house with far too many dangerous toys. The only bad decisions they make are when they're not thinking clearly. The first trap each one of them face involves electrocution or head trauma. Slightly poor decisions are permitted when you've had a trunk of books and a set of weights dropped on your head

These siblings play their parts perfectly. Bitchy older sister and bastard older brother. All the precocious child ever really needs. They sibling in the most realistic way out of all 6 movies. But you know what the kids should always have? Pets. The tarantula was a good start in 1, but having a parrot and a mouse as sidekicks who can assist with traps but aren't people? Perfect choices. I truly think this movie could have been beloved on its own merits, but unfortunately, it's part of a 6-part series that people have very high emotional connections to

#2- Home Alone (1990)

This is a controversial decision, I know, but hear me out.

Obviously OG Kevin is the peak of precocious child. He's the standard. He's pristine. Harry and Marv are the peak of the robbers. Kate is the best mom and Buzz is a heavily iconic sibling. The only sibling anyone ever remembers.

So with all this nostalgic perfection, why doesn't it take the top? I'll tell you dear reader: the character progression

At the beginning of Home Alone, Kevin is frozen at the idea of packing his suitcase. He stuns everyone by being able to buy milk. And his traps reflect that. Yes, he's got the heated doorknob and the falling iron and the cut rope from the treehouse and the blowtorch to the head and the ornaments underfoot and the paint cans, but you know what else he's got? Slippery steps. The big ol danger, slippery steps. Glued clingwrap and feathers blown by a fan. He's got scattered cars, tripwires and tar. It's good stuff, creative stuff, but it isn't the best he can do. The traps are what people love Home Alone for and it isn't the best that can be done.

But it is very close. John Candy gives it some mega bonus points.

#1- Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992)

The absolute thought and character progression that had to go into this movie is what makes it perfect. In every rewatch I've done, the only plot hole is the length of the recording Kevin makes of Uncle Frank in the shower (the age doesn't count. I've come to the conclusion that Kevin has a birthday shortly after Christmas and called himself 10 because when you're a few weeks away from a birthday at that age, you round up).

Okay, so obviously Kevin couldn't just sleep through the chaos a second time. He's got his ticket and everything is okay. He makes it to the airport. Yes, he got separated in a bit of a weird way, but you show me any 10-year-old who doesn't think needing batteries is crucial when your gizmo is out of batteries. What's more, he genuinely didn't know he was lost. He saw a man who looked exactly like his dad who also ran the entire way. If Kevin knew he was lost, he would have told someone. But he was just far enough back that no one questioned him. And then he dropped his ticket. If he goes on the plane and sees his Dad and they're in a 767, he's gonna assume that if one is there, the whole family is there. Of course he didn't hear the plane announcement going to New York, there was an annoying guy speaking at him in a language he didn't understand, so he put on his headphones. Anyone today would do the same.

When he gets to the hotel, a smidgen of suspension of disbelief has to happen with the booking of the room, but it's established that no one at the Plaza is too bright. The brilliance of having Tim Curry be a part of a secondary group of villains for Kevin is unmatched. No other Home Alone has two groups of villains.

AND it cannot be overstated that this is the Home Alone where "Merry Christmas, you filthy animal" comes from. Everyone assumes it comes from 1, but it DOESN'T.

So, leaving the hotel on the run, Kevin runs RIGHT into Harry and Marv. Of course he does. Because now they know each other. They know his style and he knows theirs. They know to go to the loading bay to cut him off and he knows to record them.

God, the crowning jewel of this movie is the traps. Now, not only does Kevin have experience from the first movie to draw on (he knows what did and didn't work and how to improve to stay one step ahead), but he also has a house he can destroy and an endless array of tools and renovation supplies. A little more suspension of disbelief has to happen with the opening of bricks to the head, but there is nothing not perfect about that scene. The acting on Daniel Stern's part is perfection.

The rest of the traps are just as glorious. You can see the forethought in each and every moment. Harry avoids the front door and doors in general out of fear of being burned again. He tries for the window first and can't see the slime. When he hears Kevin running behind the door, he doesn't think to check too heavily for traps in the heat of the moment. Marv's dizzy from 4 bricks to the head and likely doesn't have much peripheral vision skills, so after staples to the ass, dick and nose, it's only logical he may not see the hole in front of him. In the dim lights of the basement and lack of peripherals, the slime could have easily just been a wet floor. Hitting the paint cans was just a bonus. As was the gorgeously-screamed electrocution (they knew the tarantula scream was his finest moment in 1 and needed to milk that cow)

Now the blowtorch to the head. The first of the repeated traps. No snow this time and no water in the sink. Kevin knows he's going to need water, so kerosene in the toilet is a perfect example of his foresight. He knows the two robbers' greatest desire is to kill him, so whenever they need leading to a trap, he leads. He saws the ladder and audibly directs them to the stairs. At this point, Marv's been hit with 4 bricks, a shelf of paint cans, electrocuted to unconsciousness and a 100lb bag of plaster. A sane man would have died to save himself the agony. But this is Marv Merchants and he is not a sane man. He doesn't remember the paint cans immediately, but he knows enough to play along with them. They're both lucid enough to wait for 2 cans, but damaged enough to forget that Kevin's grown more devious too. The double castiron pipe hit brings me joy every time I see it. The only thing that brings me more joy is the tool chest.

From that point, murder is their top priority, beyond all else. They're not thinking things through. Not because they're idiots, but because they're brain damaged to hell and back. That's why they climb down the kerosene rope, fall 30 feet and get 15 cans of varnish dropped on them.

It's sheer dumb luck that they grab Kevin and even better luck that Scottish Bird Lady is there, but neither of those are unreasonable things to happen.

In short, everything makes sense in Home Alone 2. People are stressed and ignorant and brain damaged, but everything that made Home Alone work is taken and improved upon in the perfect sequel

[the-psudo]

In first grade, I had a friend with a similar name, like Alex and Alexa except those are made up to protect our identities. I'm a boy, she's a girl. But she was my absolute best friend.

One of the last days of first grade, she told me she was moving away because her dad said so, and we'd never be friends ever again. I was like, impossible, I'll find you wherever you go, no matter how long it takes. I had two bicentennial (1976) quarters in my pocket. I gave her one and said I'll always keep mine on me, and you always keep yours on you, and when we meet again we'll show them to each other and remember. Then we'll pick up where we left off. Or however a six-year-old would phrase that idea.

She said, no, I can see the future, and I know we'll never be friends again. We will meet one more time, but you won't remember me until I'm gone. Then you'll remember and it'll be too late.

So then I want to prove that this future isn't true, so I ask her about what other stuff she's seen so I can prove her future-sight isn't reliable.

She says I'll marry a lovely fat woman, that I'll live in my same neighborhood until I'm old, and I'll win some kind of tiny, local election just for my neighborhood. I'm like, there's no way. I wouldn't marry a fat woman; all my best friends are skinny girls. And there aren't any elections more local than Mayor, right? But I can't argue with the "I'll live in the same neighborhood" part. That sounds lovely and exactly like me. Fast forward about 15 years, I'm working at a 50s style ice cream shop. A girl comes in and says, you look like a boy I used to know. Is your name Brady? I don't make the connection. She says I had a friend named Brady in 1st grade. I'm like, that doesn't ring a bell. She's like, I have this quarter. I'm like, ooo, a bicentennial! Those are relatively rare. Still oblivious. She gets her food and leaves. Then, like two minutes later, I'm like HOLY SHIT that was ALEXA, and I run out into the parking lot and she's gone forever.

Today, I'm married to a delightful, gorgeous woman who is... shall we say "ample?" I live in the same neighborhood where I grew up, and this year I was elected Vice Chair of the Republican Party for my precinct (neighborhood). (I'm a Republican for Harris, btw.)

I don't really believe in psychic powers, but... that experience makes me question sometimes. There's got to be some extent to which I am, despite my best attempts to avoid it, projecting my current experiences onto my broken memories of her prophesy... right?

That is definitely the most unexplainable experience of my life.

i really like a good story so please tell me about a mysterious and unexplainable experience you had

[xoteajays]

And you just now figured this out? See! I told you. Everyone has some type of person (or character) they're very attracted too. Took you long enough to realize that. I should bonk you with a newspaper for that.

But no one ever seems to listen to me about things.

I was right.

~

Yeah.. They're in their thirties now. Dohwan's 1992, Sangyi's 1991. And actually, Dohwan's birthday was actually just a couple months ago.

I'm not complaining! Never. Just.. Let me marry these men now. They are perfect husband material for me. I want them, and I need them as my husbands. Okay, okay. I'm actually stop now. I'm serious. I'll stop.

Like.. Yeah. You only officially see his scars in two scenes. During their exercising scenes (whenever they are shirtless), and the scenes when Jin shows those guys his scars from being stabbed - just so he would prove that he was actually stabbed. Even if the scars aren't so visible.

Maybe? I don't know. But Jin was so willing to die from liver failure for drinking alcohol, just so Gun wouldn't have to give up his ideals about not drinking alcohol. Because of how his abusive alcoholic father was.

Actually, five characters died. Not four. Lee, his wife, their baby since she was pregnant (with a baby who should have been born in months - two months to be specific), Yang and Choi. And almost Woo-jin too.

~

Besides anime. And besides Asian media. I have been watching many different Asian media now, that I can't really remember that American or European media that I enjoyed. Besides what I've already told you.

My brain is fried from watching too much media now. What the fuck.

In American.. We have basic trains. Cargo trains, subway trains, trains like that. I can't say much. I've only been on a train twice in my life. So I have no comment about trains. I remember how germy trains are.

~

Bloodhounds OCs

I know quite a few fans of the show had mixed feelings toward Damin as a character. Because they were complaining that they replaced Ju, with her, just so the boys would have "another sidekick" with them for when they defeated the villains. Which is partially true. But eh.. Still.

What do you think of her now?

I love Gun-woo and Woo-jin equally in their own ways, but I also really think Jin needs more love too. So I will try giving him more backstory.

That works! I do love both shades of the blue hair, but at least it's very different shades of blue. Since I'm slightly leaning more toward colors that are darker with my character (in this fandom), then you might be leaning more toward the lighter and brighter colors. So that's so fine.

I know that I've mentioned this before.. A lot of times. If I'm able to do this for some of my characters, sometimes I would give them medical conditions like disabilities and disorders. But usually when I decide to give characters conditions, I usually use their real conditions for them though. I don't know why. But I do. So how unusual would it be if I did give my character conditions based on AleXa's medical conditions? Is that too weird? Or? I don't know. That was a thought I've been having.

~

High&Low OCs

Orange:

Possibly. If one of the boys, like Cobra, doesn't bandage her up any time she falls off the skateboard then I could see Naomi doing that.

I don't know if she will ever get her motorcycle license. But I'm sure the boys, especially Cobra and even Yamato (since I don't think our boy Noboru has a motorcycle), could always ride her around on any of their bikes. Even if she does not get a license, they might always drive her around. But I could see Cobra and Yamato (and even their Mugen brothers) teaching her how to drive when she gets a license at some point. Though she might have to settle for the motorbikes.

Red:

I know of Babymetal.. But I've never listened to their music though. So I have no comment. But I did notice that the actual person does mention Babymetal a lot, hence why it's one of her favorite bands.

White/Green:

Something she has in common with Rocky! If she does work at the Club Heaven club, a woman who's working in a building that serves alcohol to people while being a lightweight. Kizzy's blackmailing so much between these two lightweights to get whatever she actually wants from them. Rocky and W/G should never drink around Kizzy.

The Twelve Kingdoms is her favorite books.

She seems open minded when it comes to genres for any shows or movies she watches; crime, drama, fantasy, horror, thriller, any and every genre. She'll give everything a chance when watching media.

~

Gwi-nam's actor is a attractive. But as some character, I just can't get past that fucking mullet as his hairstyle though. Ew. Mullets are gross to me. He needs a glow up. If he survives, give him a makeover too.

If Gwi-nam and even Cheong survive. I might be surprised, but not so surprised at the same time. We know Gwi-nam's a hybrid zombie and who knows about Cheong (if he survives). Because the quiet girl have already survived starvation and being burned alive in the explosions.

I'm not a fan of Seinfeld. I've seen some episodes when I was younger because my parents watched the show, and still do, but I just can't be someone to watches it. I don't find that show funny. In my opinion.

the Behaviours™ i’m about to exhibit about tattooed cobra. especially the second link with the jacket slung over his shoulders and his hands and the sex hair and the thigh. inappropriate thoughts in my brain.

also i just can’t imagine cobra with dark hair. that boy is Blonde. i wonder how murayama would feel about the headband tho.

~

i wasn’t paying attention! a tiktok just popped up and it hit me. chishiya …. short ….. blonde …… like cobra and takeshi. fuck. we know i have an idiot brain! she’s not paying attention up there in my skull, she’s just vibin’!

~

i was worried about that with gun and drinking! i didn’t want him to be uncomfortable, but apparently he was all good. even managed to bounce back the next morning without a hangover and make breakfast with jin. they’re such good boys.

i was trying not to think about the baby. it wasn’t even old enough to survive out of the womb yet. icky thought but i hope lee died first so he didn’t have to see his wife and baby killed.

i wonder if gun’s mum came back down from the orphanage to be with gun while jin was in hospital. i bet she was worried too, but it’d probably be dangerous because myeong gil was trying to kill them all.

~

she does feel very much like a replacement character, hence why i figured she could be rewritten in to replace ju’s earlier stuff.

i’ll get back to you once i’ve watched the last episode. idk much about her yet. i think archery is rad tho so. there’s that.

i don’t know much about aleXa’s condition, but i wouldn’t say it’s too weird since people usually use faceclaims that have similar things to their ocs, like when it comes to medical conditions or gender or sexuality and such.

~

i do love a good ‘patching up their romantic interest’ plot. i had a vague idea like that for yui and cobra, her patching him up tho.

noboru has a bike, that’s why he wasn’t there when miho was assaulted, because he was off riding with cobra and yamato.

babymetal is fun. i’ve listened to some of their songs. they really pissed off a lot of annoying men in the genre though because they thought a bunch of young girls shouldn’t be in the ‘metal’ genre. i think they were pretty fondly endorsed by some american metal artists tho iirc. there’s like an infamous facebook post by rob zombie being like ‘they roll harder than you’ to some hater.

kizzy sniffs out blackmail material like a bloodhound. nothing gets by her. she’s got dirt on everyone.

~

he looks good with longer hair. i can’t say anything about the mullet though. i’m australian. every guy around here has a mullet at some point. so i’m unphased by them by now. not to be on my bullshit again, but he also looks good blonde agdhdjdls

if i was going to watch an old(er) comedy with vaguely out of touch, off-colour jokes, i’d rewatch how i met your mother or community or modern family again. friends is another one like seinfeld that i won’t watch because i don’t really care for it.

[furby-organist]

// A streamer (who is married) made the point that, while talking to a trad redpill type who was arguing that non-traditional relationships don't work, that "relationships on average don't work." Like, all relationships. And he's right. Alexa agrees.

The streamer said that, ignoring that 50% of marriages end in divorce, relationships don't work. If a relationship ends in a breakup, it didn't work, and if you're not married, then technically, it hasn't worked yet. And it doesn't mean that relationships aren't worthwhile experiences. Alexa agrees with this! Especially at this point in his life, he's very selective about his relationships and they're very worthwhile to him! He just knows that empirically, on average, they don't work in the long run. That's ok!

One great thing about humanity is that previous generations are able to pass on knowledge to future generations, and we have the information to show that relationships fail more than they succeed. So if you have all that information, and you still think you're so special that your relationship is 100% failsafe until one of you dies, and you don't have a contingency plan? He thinks you're dumb. Lol.

[shit-talk-turner]

the claims were that 1) he wanted to get married and she didn't, and 2) they had very different schedules and split amicably (as far as we know) // If number 1 is true, then I could see that really messing with his head. I mean, if you care about someone as deeply as we think he did about Alexa only to find out you aren't on the same page about your future, it could make you question the point of ever giving that much of yourself to a relationship again.

yeah definitely

[meant-to-be-a-hero]

Season Five, Episode Eighteen: The Maid Of Gevaudan

Welcome back, Crystal Reed.

Oh, we've gone widescreen. That's how you know we're in business.

Drinking from the footprint of a wolf, I think? This is a vital scene that will be important later.

I feel like I won't have as many notes for this episode since it's all flashbacks.

Sebastien Valet! I remember now!

Wasn't the Maid an Argent? Presumably she marries, or changes her name or something.

Hey, we know that face!

One of the few times we get a Special Guest Star credit, I think? Along with Hoechlin in 6B, and…maybe even DOB? Does he officially leave?

Swiss cheese Liam. Ow.

Oh, that's Lachlan Buchanan under all that hair.

Crystal's French accent is…an attempt was made. I think having Actual French Person Giles Marini next to her doesn't help either.

Alexa, play The Mob Song from Beauty & The Beast.

Marie-Jean had to change her name because Sebastien got Damnatio Memoriae'd, presumably.

Everyone say it with me! Mountain Ash!

Getting their money's worth out of this library set, aren't they?

I put poison in the wine. And the pas-the other wine.

Oh, Marcel turns out to be the main Dread Doctor, right? The Surgeon? Because he's super fucking gay for Sebastien and wants to bring him back.

Scott fighting the Beast in the library (not a Cluedo guess, much as it sounds like one) becomes a plot point in 6B I think, when Monroe's trying to get everyone to turn against the supernaturals.

Good effort, Braeden, but you're gunna need more bullets.

The Beast's smokey transformation/detransformation is neat.

Au revoir, fuckface.

Now that's a better cliffhanger!

Episode 2 without Theo. He's in the last two though, I know that.

[k-pop-pop-poppp]

October

These are all the kpop fanfics I've read in October (and late September) compiled into one recommendation post. I had exams this month so there aren't as many fics as I hoped to put, but nevertheless, enjoy! <3

(All the authors have been tagged at the end, please go check them out!)

ATEEZ

supervillains and unicorn bags ➤Wooyoung fantasy + comedy + action ; villain au + scientist au ; 1.8k ↳ concocting superhuman serums late at night was your job. dealing with an obnoxiously sparkly villain, however, was most definitely not.

whittled by stars ➤Yunho fantasy + angst ; reincarnation au + soulmates au + 1.2k ↳ you watched him die yesterday. what was he doing following you now?

[1:01 a.m.] ➤San

SEVENTEEN

competing with perfection ➤Seungkwan

→ you always wanted to be perfect, because perfection is what seungkwan loved.

maybe i want your love forever ➤Joshua

Erase ➤DK

GFRIEND

down in the valley ➤SinB

→ all sorts of folk pass through the valley on the way to greener pastures, but when you find yourself uncharacteristically drawn to a guest at the inn, you get the feeling that something else is afoot.

 » imperfection | fluff, high school au! ➤Eunha

description ↠ You have spent countless hours observing perfect student Jung Eunbi. But it’s not enough. You want to see what lies beneath the surface.

Q: “Quick question though, how do we get in? Or is that not in your PowerPoint?” ➤OT6

ENHYPEN

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 ➤Heeseung ↳ college au | f, c | complete

y/n: ur a sugar daddy but u only have enough money for two breadsticks.

SUMMARY ▸ in which heeseung accidentally becomes your sugar daddy, but funding a sugar baby is hard when you’re a broke college student.

special secret of mine ➤Jay

in which jay texts the wrong chat and stirs up a commotion in the middle of the night, trying his very best to keep his relationship with heeseung's younger sibling a secret.

enhypen reacts to you holding their face ➤OT7

2:00pm ➤Sunoo

ALEXA

♡soulmates

(soulmate au, angst)

TXT

LOVED. ➤Yeonjun [completed]

synopsis: without giving it much thought, yn decides to start placing love letters in yeonjun’s locker in hopes to finally have the courage to confess to him one day. little did yn know how quickly the letters would catch yeonjun’s attention and how determined he was to find out who the anonymous love letter sender is.

genre: fluff, angst, crack

— spider lily ➤Yeonjun

ghoul!au ; in which you discover your boyfriend is a ghoul, and that you were always just a fool.

reacting to you randomly giving them a rose on the street ➤OT5

2:35 am ➤Taehyun

ITZY

- Windflower | fluff, angst, royalty AU - 4.9k ➤Yuna Desc.: Due to a promise made between your parents and another family, you are arranged to marry their oldest son on the day you turn 18. However, aside from the fact that he isn’t the kind of person you’d wish to spend the rest of your life with, you only have eyes for Yuna, the girl who used to be one of your childhood friends and is now your secret lover.

↠ beneath speckled sunlight | fluff, high school au!, mafia au! ➤Yeji

description ↠ despite several strange rumours surrounding yeji, you’re the first person to discover her soft personality.

—  lock ➤Lia

synopsis: Lia asks for help when she locks herself out of her apartment, so what happens when you lock yourself out of your apartment too?

5 ways to say I love you ➤OT5

TREASURE

⸻ sure. || ➤Jihoon

synopsis: jihoon never signed up for this. after working for years to get his teaching license, this is what he is forced to put up with as a kindergarten teacher: being a tree.

Treasure Hogwarts Houses/As Hogwarts Students ➤OT12

Authors of the fanfics mentioned:

@masterninjacow @/masterninjacow @in-san-ity

@chilligyu @adi--writes @diamondlifescenarios

@honeywonu @sunflowerbinnie @themermaidshive

@jayflrt @peachysaeng @berriniki @/jayflrt

@skzxlevanter

@wooyukh @1uvbyul @koishua @m-ilkiie

@cherrychael @/sunflowerbinnie @sevlgi @pollenat

@/koishua @kpoppinandlockin